Tyrannosaurus Paul... The nicest herbivore

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the fiercest of the beasts
Liked nothing better on his plate
Than a juicy piece of meat

For breakfast, he'd have sausage
A burger or two for lunch
Big rump steak for dinner
Any meat that he could munch

Tyrannosaurus Rex had a brother they called Paul
And he had a little problem...
He wasn't a carnivore

For breakfast, lunch or dinner
What he didn't like to eat
Was a sausage, burger or steak
Not any kind of meat

He liked a bowl of fruit, perhaps a light omelette
Some tomatoes and a cucumber
Or a lovely warm crumpet

Tyrannosaurus Paul just wasn't understood
Being the only herbivore
In the whole big neighbourhood

All the local diners
And restaurants across the town
Served nothing green upon the plate
Just meat that's red and brown

Anything that moved
Across the fields and plains
Was eaten by the dinosaurs
Till nothing left remained

No wild beasts to eat
All eaten or run away
All the scary dinosaurs
Grew hungrier by the day

Nothing for their breakfast
Nor anything for lunch or tea
They were getting rumbles
Deep down in their bellies
 
But Tyrannosaurus Paul had more than he could eat
His garden full of vegetables
Could feed the whole big street

Cooking in his kitchen
Smells wafting out the door
Neighbours following their noses
Came to see tyrannosaurus Paul

Seeing they were hungry, he invited them to lunch
Noodles with a stirfry
Fresh carrots that had crunch

For afters a fruit salad
All drenched in fresh yoghurt
Sprinkled with a dash of mint
And honey they could squirt

The dinosaurs all scoffed it
Asking for seconds on their plate
And they realised not eating greens
Had been a big mistake

All his friends and family
still like to eat their meat
But adding fruit and vegetables
Now makes their plate complete

For breakfast they’ll have waffles
A ceasar salad for their lunch
Chicken and veg for dinner
A balanced meal they can munch

And Tyrannosaurus Paul?
Well he’s still a herbivore
But now he gets to eat with friends
As they’re all omnivores!

Bottom Burp!

Breakfast time, stopping at nans
No Coco Pops, there's only All Bran
Covered in milk in a bright yellow bowl
I fill up my tum before heading to school

Sitting in  class my tummy does a gurgle
Breakfast is moving making me giggle
Something is rumbling down below
I need to get out before it can blow

Crossing my legs I keep it inside
The feeling soon fades; what a rough ride!
The rest of the day, I'll watch what I slurp
I really don't need a big bottom burp!

Lunchtime at school, I go into the hall
Bean stew for lunch, that's not a good call
Eating it all I know I'm in trouble
Feeling it hit, my belly starts to bubble

Wanting dessert I have to stay where I am
Then I find out its treacle tart with prune jam
Covered in cream I clear every last spoon
But something is brewing as I digest the prune

Crossing my legs I keep it inside
The feeling soon fades; what a rough ride!
The rest of the day, I'll watch what I slurp
I really don't need a big bottom burp!

End of the day and school is no more
My belly's still rumbling so I'm out of the door
Running back home I hear my mum shout
"Dinner is ready, it's meat, peas and sprouts"

If my tummy was bad before all of this
It'll totally explode when all those sprouts hit
I try eating slowly but that doesn't work
My belly is shaking, it's dying to burp!

Crossing my legs I try to keep it inside
But the feeling wont fade, this is a rough ride!
I try to get up and run out of the room
But it is to late and my bottom goes boom!

Seconds pass by and it's a bit of a haze
My parents are sitting there still in a daze
The table has gone, the dog is now bald
The back of my trousers has a big hole!

The neighbours all heard it and came to the door
And were very surprised with the gap in the wall
Then the smell hit and they all held their noses
That bottom burps bad, it doesn't  smell of roses!

(C) Mark Sage 2013