Sandwich of Death

Walking to school, my lunch bag in tow

A secret inside that I didn’t know

Mum packed my lunch with everything there

A sandwich to eat, with cheese and a pear

Little did I know, that my lunch had a secret

The sandwich had history, how long would it keep it

Lunchtime may be

When I take my last breath

If I’m tempted to nibble

On that sandwich of death!

Playing a role like a Hollywood actor

That sandwich of ham was a lunchtime imposter

Not freshly made as I’d been told

The sandwich was actually two days old

Rejected in haste from dads rucksack

Mum had just grabbed it as a fresh new snack

Lunchtime may be

When I take my last breath

If I’m tempted to nibble

On that sandwich of death!

Sweating a little, the sandwich was nervous

The bread was all dry, the ham was now anxious

Ticking away like a snack food time bomb

I was totally oblivious as to where it was from

Clock ticking by as lunchtime approaches

About to chow down on a lunch fit for roaches

Lunchtime may be

When I take my last breath

If I’m tempted to nibble

On that sandwich of death!

The bell rings loud, announcing lunch hour

I run down the hall with my lunch to devour

The sandwich is ready to unleash its doom

As I unzip my lunch bag, the moment does loom

Spread out before me the sandwich looks fine

For it’s hidden attack, there’s really no sign

Lunchtime may be

When I take my last breath

If I’m tempted to nibble

On that sandwich of death!

Mom had just realised at the very last minute

That sandwich wasn’t kosher, wasn’t fit for my palette

Running to school leaving dust in her wake

Can she save me from death… or a mild belly ache

She bangs on the door and gets their attention

Laying out all the facts of my soon heavenly ascension

Lunchtime may be

When I take my last breath

If I’m tempted to nibble

On that sandwich of death!

As I reach for the sandwich I hear a commotion

My teacher is running, her arms all in motion

Pointing at me, she says out of breath

“Put down that sandwich, that sandwich of death”

The sandwich is tempting and I go for a bite

But lunging at me, knocks it away with a swipe

That sandwich has gone

Its now lost the fight

Saved by my the teacher

I didn’t take a bite

But now I’ve lost…

My lovely ham filling

And got one of cheese …

Which is not quite so thrilling

Tyrannosaurus Paul... The nicest herbivore

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the fiercest of the beasts
Liked nothing better on his plate
Than a juicy piece of meat

For breakfast, he'd have sausage
A burger or two for lunch
Big rump steak for dinner
Any meat that he could munch

Tyrannosaurus Rex had a brother they called Paul
And he had a little problem...
He wasn't a carnivore

For breakfast, lunch or dinner
What he didn't like to eat
Was a sausage, burger or steak
Not any kind of meat

He liked a bowl of fruit, perhaps a light omelette
Some tomatoes and a cucumber
Or a lovely warm crumpet

Tyrannosaurus Paul just wasn't understood
Being the only herbivore
In the whole big neighbourhood

All the local diners
And restaurants across the town
Served nothing green upon the plate
Just meat that's red and brown

Anything that moved
Across the fields and plains
Was eaten by the dinosaurs
Till nothing left remained

No wild beasts to eat
All eaten or run away
All the scary dinosaurs
Grew hungrier by the day

Nothing for their breakfast
Nor anything for lunch or tea
They were getting rumbles
Deep down in their bellies
 
But Tyrannosaurus Paul had more than he could eat
His garden full of vegetables
Could feed the whole big street

Cooking in his kitchen
Smells wafting out the door
Neighbours following their noses
Came to see tyrannosaurus Paul

Seeing they were hungry, he invited them to lunch
Noodles with a stirfry
Fresh carrots that had crunch

For afters a fruit salad
All drenched in fresh yoghurt
Sprinkled with a dash of mint
And honey they could squirt

The dinosaurs all scoffed it
Asking for seconds on their plate
And they realised not eating greens
Had been a big mistake

All his friends and family
still like to eat their meat
But adding fruit and vegetables
Now makes their plate complete

For breakfast they’ll have waffles
A ceasar salad for their lunch
Chicken and veg for dinner
A balanced meal they can munch

And Tyrannosaurus Paul?
Well he’s still a herbivore
But now he gets to eat with friends
As they’re all omnivores!

What if planes had feathers spread along their wings...

What if planes had feathers
Spread along their wings
Would their engines roar
Or would they whistle and sing

Would they land upon a tree
And stop there for a while
A treehouse for an airport
Making passengers smile

Do they take off on their feet
Rather than their wheels
A hop, skip and a great big jump
Making passengers squeal

Where would everyone sit?
Maybe riding on their back..
Holding tight onto their hats
While eating airline snacks

What about the pilots
How would they fly that plane?
Riding up behind the head
Pulling left and right with reins

Stopping for a fill up
No jet fuel for this plane
Just a bag of seeds and nuts
Before setting off again

Travelling the seven continents
Upon a large majestic bird
Soaring on up through the sky
Is it really so absurd

Rather than metal bodies
And steel bolts and springs
Wouldn't it be nice if planes
Had feathers on their wings

(c) Mark Sage 2013

Lurking

What's that lurking deep in my coat pocket

It's sticky and yucky, I don't wanna touch it

Covered in fluff

It's really sticky stuff

But tastes like a pear drop so may as well suck it

What's that lurking deep inside my bag

Was it something that I ate, it's making me gag

Shall I ignore

The rotten apple core

Or pop to the shops to buy another bag

What's that lurking underneath my bed?

A simple cup of milk... Now filling me with dread

Green and slimy

Why does it scare me?

Hide it back away… let mum find it instead

What's that lurking deep inside my ear

Mum says cabbages could grow where I hear

Shall I dig it out?

Plant a Brussel sprout?

Or stick it to my finger to see the girls fear

What's that lurking underneath my shirt

Peaking from my belly button… senses are alert

Did it crawl inside

Hitching a free ride

Or is it just fluff and hair, all wrapped up with dirt!

What's that lurking in-between my toes

I saw it there yesterday; I'm sure that it grows

Wipe it on my finger

Let the smell just linger

A dark and musty scent going up my nose

 

Special Offer

Get Mark's latest ebook for free! 

Click Here to download a version for your e-reader.

Share on Twitter | Share on Facebook

What hides in the dark…

Sent to bed, with a kiss and cuddle
Climbing the stairs, his head all a muddle

It’s dark at the top, four steps to his room
Light switch on the wall; hidden in gloom

What lies in the darkness, his mind playing tricks
Is there a monster in there, or an evil old witch

Running back down, he lands in mums lap
There’s a monster upstairs, and he’s taking a nap
If I walk in the room, he’ll awake from his sleep
It’ll be me for his dinner, it’ll be me that he eats

“There no such thing, monsters aren’t real”
Nothing is there to make you his meal

I’ll take you upstairs and switch on your light
You’ll see nothings there, it's all alright

Climbing the stairs, making a noise
The monster gets scared, and hides with the toys

Tucking him in, getting ready for sleep
Mum says “Sweet dreams.. not another peep”
Off with the light and closing the door
It’s dark now in here… but he can just see the floor

In the dark shadows, is something there…
Something is moving, something covered in hair

Frozen in bed, not wanting to move
He senses it skulking, down by his shoes

He shouts out load, calling for mum
There’s a monster in here, can you please come!

Checking his room, opening doors
Under the bed, till there’s nothing more
His mum reassures him, “They don’t exist!”
“No monster in here, nothings been missed!”

Leaving the room, the door now ajar
A little light shining, so he now sees afar

Inside his shoe, a head pops out
A scary little head with a big fat mouth

Sharp scary teeth, they could chew through rock
But stuffed in his mouth… the little boys sock

Plucking up courage he stammers to the beast
“A.A.A.Are you eating my sock, is it some kind of feast?”
Errrmm… yes says the monster, I’m sorry to say
I’ve eaten your sock, I eat at least one a day

“My Sock?” says the boy, “So you won’t eat me?”
“NO!!!”, says the monster, “Only socks for my tea!”

There’s nothing to be scared off, we all eat socks
Except for Big Fred… he prefers frocks!

We like them well worn, a good day or two
Real nice and cheesy, between me and you

Oh, that explains it the little boy cries
One socks always missing when hung out to dry
Mum says I’ve lost it, she always blames me
Now I know where it’s gone, it’s in your belly

So now that you know, monsters are really true
But it’s your socks that they want; it’s not really you

There’s no point explaining or telling someone
They still won’t believe you… even your mum

But at least you’ll be safe… there’s nothing to shock
Monsters don’t hurt you, they just want your socks

A Monster Called Jack

Jack was a monster
Who lived in monster land
He looked like me and you
With two legs, two arms and hands

But Jack was not the same
For right upon his head
Where two eyes should have lived
He had three there instead

The other monsters ran
When they saw him from afar
For two eyes is ok
But three is just bazaar

The first eye could look left
The other to the right
But the one right in the centre
Could see everything at night

Now Jack would go to school
But not the way you do
He'd hide in a dark cupboard
And no one had a clue

He'd listen to the teacher
Reading all his books
Using his middle eye
To see in his dark nook

When the sun went down
He'd play some little games
Hiding in the shadows
But playing all the same

Wishing he had friends
Who he could play with too
Someone to throw a ball
Someone just like you

Then one day it all changed
When Jack helped save the day
Using his monster talents
In his very special way

For there were many monsters
And some were pretty big
In fact some were humongous
Especially one called Zig

Zig was bigger than Jack
And bigger than a tree
In fact Zig was so ginormous
He could drink a whole blue sea

One day he was feeling hungry
And spied Jack's little town
He saw his little school
And gulped it all straight down

Sitting in Zigs belly
The school was all pitch black
But one little monster could see
That monsters name was Jack

He climbed out from his cupboard
While Zig was having a doze
And climbed up from his tummy
So he could tickle Zigs nose

Now when Zig felt the tickle
He had a sneeze attack
And said ACHHOOO!!! so loudly
That he sent the school right back

Jack become a hero
For helping save the school
And all the other monsters said
"Jack, you really are quite cool"

Now Jack still goes to school
But he doesn't hide away
Instead he sits right at the front
As no one runs away

He's still a little monster
With three eyes upon his head
But no ones scared of how he looks
And they play with him instead

(c) Mark Sage 2013
Illustrated by Heath Sage