Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Bottom Burp!

Breakfast time, stopping at nans
No Coco Pops, there's only All Bran
Covered in milk in a bright yellow bowl
I fill up my tum before heading to school

Sitting in  class my tummy does a gurgle
Breakfast is moving making me giggle
Something is rumbling down below
I need to get out before it can blow

Crossing my legs I keep it inside
The feeling soon fades; what a rough ride!
The rest of the day, I'll watch what I slurp
I really don't need a big bottom burp!

Lunchtime at school, I go into the hall
Bean stew for lunch, that's not a good call
Eating it all I know I'm in trouble
Feeling it hit, my belly starts to bubble

Wanting dessert I have to stay where I am
Then I find out its treacle tart with prune jam
Covered in cream I clear every last spoon
But something is brewing as I digest the prune

Crossing my legs I keep it inside
The feeling soon fades; what a rough ride!
The rest of the day, I'll watch what I slurp
I really don't need a big bottom burp!

End of the day and school is no more
My belly's still rumbling so I'm out of the door
Running back home I hear my mum shout
"Dinner is ready, it's meat, peas and sprouts"

If my tummy was bad before all of this
It'll totally explode when all those sprouts hit
I try eating slowly but that doesn't work
My belly is shaking, it's dying to burp!

Crossing my legs I try to keep it inside
But the feeling wont fade, this is a rough ride!
I try to get up and run out of the room
But it is to late and my bottom goes boom!

Seconds pass by and it's a bit of a haze
My parents are sitting there still in a daze
The table has gone, the dog is now bald
The back of my trousers has a big hole!

The neighbours all heard it and came to the door
And were very surprised with the gap in the wall
Then the smell hit and they all held their noses
That bottom burps bad, it doesn't  smell of roses!

(C) Mark Sage 2013

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